Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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