i will never coherently bang her
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
