i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
