Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
