Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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