do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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