Screwed.edu
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
