Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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