Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
