you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
