she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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