Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
