Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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