a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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