i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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