i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
