Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
