Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
