the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
