So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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