I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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