When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
