I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
