You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
