____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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