ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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