id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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