if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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