Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
