so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
