I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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