Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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