To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
