Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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