chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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