I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
