i don't like sucking hair
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
