I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
