i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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