I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize