But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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