i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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