i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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