i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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