I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
