Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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