I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
