Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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