My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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