And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
