There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
