Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
