I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
