If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
