so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
