your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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