we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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