I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
