I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
