Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
