worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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