he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
