oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
