You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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